Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
