My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
