the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
