Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
