I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
