I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
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