I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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