your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
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