you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
