I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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