If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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