32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
sick fucks of a feather flock together
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
