Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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