I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm way too hungover for life right now
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
