just survived the first fart of the relationship.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
That's how pantless uber rides happen