I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.