I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize