We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
