Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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