found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
