Your tits are I can't wait for
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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