im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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