you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
