so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
