So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
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I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
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Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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