Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
