You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
