Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
