everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Can't talk, ducks in the car
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
