If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
you inspire me to be a worse person
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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