I CAN MOONWALK!
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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