Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
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I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
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The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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