bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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