I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
