My nipple is on Facebook.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
