Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
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this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
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i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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