By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
