Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Blood and glitter go together right?
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
