While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm getting married
To pizza
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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