for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
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Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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