Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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