Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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