i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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