We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
