Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize