So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize