I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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