PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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