Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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