Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
