She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
His nipple licking is glorious
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