Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
