I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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