Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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