i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Randomize
