Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
