So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
