I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
