I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
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