enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Just pee around me
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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