I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Still dying that you shit outside
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
