i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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